Friday, June 20, 2008

To be or not to be.......

I read this poem several times this morning.

Late Fragment
And did you get what
you wanted from this life, even so?
I did.
And what did you want?
To call myself beloved, to feel myself
beloved on the earth.

--Raymond Carver

What do I want? That's a hard question to answer.
Recently, I've been trying my hand at goal setting....again. Not sure that I've been any good at it (or maybe the follow-thru part). I just don't know what I want --exactly. What do I want to do, to be, to have? With as many failures to meet set goals as I've had, I guess I'm a little afraid to dream...much less write them down with a target date. Maybe it doesn't have to do with the haves and dos as much as be. Being. Being content with what you have. Being real--being authentic. Being there for other people. We all come from such diverse places. A little kindness, caring, touch, a listening ear, doesn't that matter more than what I have or where I go? If I concentrate more on being, will I eventually cross paths with what I'm meant to do? I'd like to think that that's true. I'm not the same person I was yesterday, and not yet who I will be tomorrow. We are shaped by our dailyness and how we react to it. I think there's a much bigger picture. "Feel myself beloved on the earth".

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