Wallowing......

My house is a disaster, lately I can't seem to catch up with what needs to be done, much less extra curricular chores. I sit here at work wishing I were at home doing things, by the time I get home....I'm worn out. This poem is so fitting for how I am trying to shift my feelings.

Imperfection

I am falling in love
with my imperfections
The way I never get the sink really clean,
forget to check my oil,
lose my car in parking lots,
miss appointments I have written down,
am just a little late.

I am learning to love
the small bumps on my face
the big bump of my nose,
my hairless scalp,
chipped nail polish,
toes that overlap.
Learning to love
the open-ended mystery
of not knowing why

I am learning to fail
to make lists,
use my time wisely,
read the books I should.

Instead I practice inconsistency,
irrationality, forgetfulness.

Probably I should
hang my clothes neatly in the close
tall the shirts together,
then the pants,
send Christmas cards,
or better yet
a letter telling of
my perfect family

But I’d rather waste time
listening to the rain,
or lying underneath my cat
learning to purr.

-by Elizabeth Carlson

Isn't this a great poem? Wouldn't we all be happier and mentally healthier if we just let go of the shoulds and oughts not to mention the I'm not measuring up to my/others expectations? I'm looking around at all the clutter--ack the room is closing in.....can't eat dinner at the kitchen table because of the piles of papers and (?), piles of books and papers and (?) all over the living floor, clothes to be folded. It's a bit overwhelming. My brain feels as chaotic as my surroundings. Note to self, must start working on this tonite....baby steps.....perhaps with a glass of wine.......
Next weekend, Paul is going hunting-which means I have the weekend all to myself *smiling*.
Dear friend Marci and I are going to have an art retreat. I have started cleaning off one of the tables in my studio so she'll have a place to work. Oh yeah, that room is a mess too as I've been working on copper pieces for the galleries next year and a couples of plaster sculptures for gifts and one for the bathroom. At least I have a week to work on that room ;p