Sunday, September 21, 2008

Where art comes from

(Oy, what a bad photo....did I mention I'm not good at photography?!)

I saw a wonderful video on youtube featuring Judy Wise. She says, "Get to know yourself, what about you is differenct than anyone else? Use your history, your pain, your happy times". She keeps a journal. That is a fantastic place to spill yourself into.
I do struggle with my own creativity. Really I do. I understand learning techniques, but there comes a time where you must make it truly your own.
So where does art come from? The journal really is a great place to open up. Years ago I went through Julia Cameron's book The Artist's Way with a beautiful group of people. Ms. Cameron strongly encourages "morning pages"--stream of thought writing for 3 pages. After those pages are finished, I zero in on a thought and follow that thread to see where it leads.
As I learn about myself, I'm finding so much that has been buried for many years. My dad is an angry alcoholic and my mother is rather needy emotionally. They divorced when I was 19 back in the late 70's. Even today....30 years later....I find my reaction to my dad's anger the same. I feel like I am 6 years old. I cower and become silent and withdrawn. It's a horrible feeling to this day. This is my pain, this is where, I believe-art will help us deal with our blocked emotions, all that muck we find ourselves stuck in. I want my art to have meaning. I want it to come from the deep place, with all it's uncertainties and scariness. I want other people to be able to relate to it, to have it touch them and mean something to them the way it has to me.
So many jumbled thoughts this evening......

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