Absent from the body.....

....present with the Lord. My Dad passed away this afternoon. He had a long battle with cancer.
Recently I was able to spend 8 days with him, I wanted to be with him when he died but it wasn't to be. I was able to tell him that I was glad he was my Dad and that I loved him very much. It was so incredibly difficult to watch him wither away, day by day. The emotional tidal wave I feel is so overwhelming. I would appreciate your prayers. xo

Reason to Celebrate

Last week Saturday, my Aunt and Uncle had a birthday party for my Dad. His birthday isn't until the 22nd, but my Aunt wanted to have it as soon as possible. 82! It's hard to believe.
Family and friends filled my Aunt and Uncle's house. I have never heard so many "I love yous". It was wonderful! When it was over, my Dad was worn out. He slept well.
Over the course of the week, walking has become more difficult. He fell while my Aunt and the hospice nurse were there. Yesterday he went into the nursing home. I am grateful for that, knowing that he will have 24 hour care. Watching the cancer taking over his body has been so difficult. This once hard working, strong and independent man can't shave his own face. The changes that have taken place since he was diagnosed in late January, have been monumental.
I have learned to take nothing for granted. Each day is truly a gift. Saying "I love you", means so much. This experience has been difficult, yet so rich. I am learning to spend time with my feelings, letting my emotions run their course.

Pop

Pop and I had a very sweet visit. He is more frail than the last visit I had. He is losing weight, losing control of some bodily functions, but he is of great humor. My prayer has been that he not be in pain....and he isn't. I love looking into those blue eyes. I love you Pop!! When I first got there he was looking a bit like a vagrant. He is a very independent and proud man who doesn't like to ask for help. He doesn't have the dexterity and is no longer able to shave his head or face. So, together we went outside and I shaved his head and then his face. The eyebrows were another story. Those wiry little devils were pointing every which direction reaching toward the sun.....I got the hang of trimming them by the second eyebrow ;) I asked him if I could take pictures of his tattoos. He has been embarrassed by these, so he always wore long sleeves to cover them up. He was in the Korean war, he got these tattoos back in 1949. They are faded, but oh so beautiful.

I can't tell what this is anymore......

A snake head with a dagger through it......

A bird...an eagle maybe, with a snake wrapped around it.......

hmmmm, me thinks there's a pattern forming.....snakes and women....hmmmm.....

Pop and his sister, Karen. She is my favorite aunt. She and I are very close, like sisters. Everyday Auntie Karen goes over to his house to make sure he eats dinner, cleans, does his laundry. She is an incredible caregiver, an angel, really.

I've been spending mornings out in the flower beds, weeding....a bit behind in all that after knee surgery. Angry looking thistles up to my waist! Yikes, they are hard to get rid of aren't they?
Little by little, day by day, it's starting to look civilized again.
This scary patch of weeds took me 3 days to pull. Whatever those bottlebrush weeds are....they are everywhere....in the grass too. Thankfully they have shallow roots and pull out easily. There was a lovely ornamental crab apple tree here--I planted hostas under the tree and set up a birdbath made of flowerpots. It was so pretty. Then the poor tree developed a disease and had to be cut down. The hostas don't seem to like the sun. I gave them to my neighbor across the street. He has a mostly shady yard and will do much better there. His son-in-law brought over his stump grinder and removed the stump. There are two hostas left and patch of pampas grass. Paul and I are talking about putting a patio here. A nice little spot to relax in after work.

This area is along the side of garage. This area causes me the most frustration. What in the world to do with it?! It's a gravel patch covered by weeds. Just not sure what to do here. All I can say is I have very patient neighbors!!

Tomorrow I'm going up to visit my Dad for a few days. I'm so looking forward to spending some time with him again. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers!

hello again my friend

It's been too, too long since I posted....so much has been going on. Since I last wrote, I had my 50th birthday. How about that. To tell you the truth, I don't feel any different. I promised myself I was going to go boldly into 50. Live fuller-larger, notice more, be grateful more.
My Aunt Karen had the family over to celebrate Father's Day. Here is my handsome Dad. I love you Pop, you mean the world to me. The cancer is spreading, he is losing weight, he just doesn't have an appetite anymore. I arranged for a meeting with a social worker and a hospice nurse. I (the big coward), told my dad that we were going to meet regarding his future health care. I was happy he was agreeable to that. I had a grim view of hospice. The nurse was amazing. He explained everything about hospice. It's so much more than I thought. She arranged for a nurse to come by his house once weekly. What a Godsend. When the nurse feels he needs more care, she'll come by more often. He can stay home as long as he is able to care for himself. When his is no longer able to do that, she arranged for a swing bed at the hospital nearby-when he needs full-time care. I am grateful, oh so very grateful.
My favorite Aunt, Karen....my Dad's little sister. She is a blast. Every Thanksgiving, she puts out a BIG feast. The next day, she and I go shopping. We usually go to Tomah-to Burnstad's European Village. It's a fun "mall" with lots of little shops. We go out for coffee, and breakfast, and lunch and.....wear ourselves out. It's the only day of the year that we get to spend alone together.

Jack happened to be visiting on Father's Day.....I love his happy face.

The other thing that was keeping me busy, was getting ready for my solo show (my first!) at Charlene's Gallery Ten in Gill's Rock--Door County. My show was in the tower gallery. A very cool little space at the top of a spiral staircase. I had about 11 pieces hung. I am at this very moment, kicking myself in the pants because I took individual pictures of all the pieces, but not as a group. (kick-kick-kick)

There was a 2 hour artist's reception in the afternoon. During the time I was there I sold 4 pieces....how exciting is that?! I love meeting and talking to the people that have decided to take my art home. It's such an honor that someone would want to hang my art in there home.

........and then there's the coming home......eek! Time to clear a walkway-don't you think? Oy, what a mess. Well, it doesn't look like that anymore. I spend 2 days picking up and putting away. Charlene invited me back up to Gallery Ten on Labor Day weekend. She's having an outdoor event, artist demonstrations, canopies filled with art...the gallery filled with art. Sounds like fun, doesn't it? So that brings me to the next thing.....I need to get busy making more copper pieces. Yikes! I have a booth to fill..........

Home again

I took my camera---can't believe I didn't take ANY pictures......oy vay!
I spent 4 days-- 4 glorious days with my dad....all to myself. We had such a good time together. He is getting around very well with his walker. We went out for walks everyday. We stopped to talk to a neighbor, she asked about his chemo--he said the dr. took him off because he was okay. I wish he were, but he's not. He didn't want me to leave yesterday, and I didn't want to go. I cried all the way to Westfield. I am so glad I went, there won't be any regrets, there will be 4 days to cherish.
On my way to my dad's, as I turned down his street, I heard a weird noise coming from the car. I pulled into his driveway-got out-there is was-a hissing tire that was nearly flat! Methinks someone was watching over me;)

Lately I've felt like Debbie Downer with what I've been posting. I see that so many other people are in similar situations with their parents. I'm grateful for birthdays...big reasons to celebrate. Friday was my mom's 83rd birthday. Paul and I took her out for dinner...lovely, then back to her place to open presents. We brought along a bottle of champagne to toast her 83rd year. We laughed as the bubbles went to our heads. Delightful evening.
Late this morning, I'm driving up to spend a few days with my dad while my aunt and uncle go on a much needed vacation. I am so looking forward to having him all to myself. Go out for walks, take a drive or two out in the country or just sit outside on his patio and talk. Savoring each moment.....